A Skyful of Lighters
by Blood on the Sunflowers
Summary: Fluffy-ness! My favorite!  Warning T; for suisidal Canada!  Alred: WHo?  Exactly - -  Human names used!  Songfic- Lighters!


Like all things I do, I know this will be EPIC!

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><p><em><strong>This one's for you and me<strong>_  
><em><strong>Living out our dreams<strong>_  
><em><strong>We're all right where we should be<strong>_  
><em><strong>Lift my arms out wide<strong>_  
><em><strong>I open my eyes<strong>_  
><em><strong>And now all I wanna see<strong>_  
><em><strong>Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters<strong>_

I opened my eyes, the light streaming in from my windows blinding me for a few seconds as my alarm kept on beeping. I slammed my hand down on it to make it stop; annoyed by it, but knowing it was the only thing that could ever get me up. I make my way down the stairs, having gotten changed and brushed out my hair, walking into the kitchen. Sure enough my brother sat down, eating a bowl of sugary chocolate cereal, completely oblivious to my existence, as usual. I could still remember a time when I was little that his unacknowledgement to me hurt my feelings. After all of these years of it though, I sort enjoyed him ignoring me most of the time, knowing full well how annoying he got when he did notice me. Surely though he could remember what today was, I thought to myself.  
>I started to make myself some pancakes, rummaging through the fridge to get myself the maple syrup, and sitting at the table across from Alfred. He finally looked up at me and smiled, saying "Oh, there you are Mattie, I didn't notice you come in!" I look down at my pancakes, letting my usual facade of a cheery expression slip for a second, sighing and mumbling "No one ever does," I then looked back at Alfred, who had gone back to gobbling down his breakfast, probably forgetting I was even there...again. I then silently began eating my pancakes, waiting for my brother to tell me something I've been waiting to hear all morning. He finishes his cereal, and then suddenly rushes out the door to school, without even a single goodbye.<br>I sighed, making my way up the stairs of my high school, making sure to keep my head down and actually _trying _to be invisible. High School simply made me want to jump off a bridge sometimes. I loved the classes, being one of the schools top students, having always loved to learn since I was a little kid. Unfortunately, just being smart didn't get you friends. Being captain football team got you friends, having all teachers and students worship you got you friends, being popular got you friends. My brother was and had all these things, me just being his stupid twin brother no one noticed. The only one who ever did notice me, was a foreign exchange student from Ukraine, a girl named Katyusha, who was in the advanced classes with me. In everyone else's eyes, mostly the girls, she was just a huge crybaby, nothing special about her. I knew most of the girls where jealous of her, since she had the unfortunate luck to be born with well... a large chest, which most guys literally had their eyes glued to. I thought she was really kind and a generally happy person, hating whenever I saw all the other girls making fun of her and she would begin to cry. Out of all the things though, I hated how they only people who did notice him me besides her, were the Bad Touch Trio.  
>They were probably the only boy clique, besides the football team, that the school actually had. Consisting of three perverted idiots named Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio, they all thought it was funny to pick on me , and only me, since no one noticed me anyway, and who's going to care about a kid who's own brother hardly noticed his existence? They had pushed me into lockers, knocked the books out of my hands, even going so far as once pantsing me in public, underwear and all. That was probably the only time I actually had everyone pay attention to me, and I cursed them as I pulled up my pants, watching as they laid on the ground, laughing there little arses off.<p>

I made sure to keep low all day, rushing from class to class, happy being in the more advanced classes for once, since none of them even had the slightest amount of brains to be in a single one of them. I had to make sure that they didn't find me, not on today of all days. It wasn't until last period that I let my guard down, having finished my last class, gathering all my stuff, and walking out the front door. Of course, they were waiting for me. Before I could run back inside, Francis and Gilbert each grabbed one of my arms, pulling me towards there sickly evil faces. I began to shiver, hating myself for letting me become afraid of a bunch of morons like them. They enjoyed this, laughing out loud, everyone either not noticing what was happening, or were to afraid of their wrath to stop them. Suddenly, Alfred burst through the front doors in front of us, exclaiming his usual catch-phrase "I'm the hero!" and looking me straight in the eye. Something at that moment filled me with an emotion I hadn't felt like in years, hope. I actually thought for once Alfred would help me, save me from the kids who were about to hurt me. Instead, he walked right between us, making his way down the stairs to where his football buddies waited for him. The Bad Touch Trio, started to laugh at me, telling me 'no one cares about someone as worthless as you' and 'No one could love someone as ugly as you are'. These words didn't register inside my head though; I was still in shock by what had happened. The second he walked past us down those stairs, I could feel my heart breaking into little pieces, and scattering onto the floor below me. I had never realized what pain was, having living so numb for so long, that when my heart broke, I could feel something that had been so bruised and battered, finally snap inside my mind. I had been treading water for so long, yet as the Bad Touch Trio finally pushed me against the brick wall, finally getting bored of me and leaving, I could find myself slowly drowning, not even bothering to struggle against it, letting the darkness swallow me whole.

I sat on the couch, eyes rimmed red behind my glasses with the tears I had cried, envelope in hand, already knowing how this all was going to go. I waited for hours, sitting on that couch facing the front door, waiting for him. Finally, Alfred burst through the front door, his cocky smile as usual, plastered on his face, as he began making his way to the kitchen, not noticing me at all. "Alfred." I shouted, watching him turn around, his face taking on a look of surprise as he said "Oh Mattie, I didn't-" I interrupted him, asking him loud and clear, something I almost never did "Do you know what today is?"  
>He looked at me in confusion, scratching the side of his head, saying "Friday?" I simply look at him for a second, letting go of the envelope go as I stood up, hearing it collide to the floor as I walked to the door, opening it, and slamming it behind me.<p>

_**By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up**_  
><em><strong>I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up<strong>_  
><em><strong>If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em' skyward uh<strong>_  
><em><strong>Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king<strong>_  
><em><strong>This rap game's nipple is mine for the milking,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Till nobody else even fucking feels me, till' it kills me<strong>_  
><em><strong>I swear to god I'll be the fucking illest in this music<strong>_  
><em><strong>There is or there ever will be, disagree?<strong>_  
><em><strong>Feel free, but from now on I'm refusing to ever give up<strong>_  
><em><strong>The only thing I ever gave's using no more excuses<strong>_  
><em><strong>Excuse me if my head is too big for this building<strong>_  
><em><strong>And pardon me if I'm a cocky prick but you cocks are slick<strong>_  
><em><strong>Poppin shit on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-shit<strong>_  
><em><strong>Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite<strong>_  
><em><strong>You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks<strong>_  
><em><strong>I love it when I tell em shove it<strong>_  
><em><strong>Cause it wasn't that long ago when Marshall sat, luster lacked, lustered<strong>_  
><em><strong>Cuz he couldn't cut mustard, muster up nothing<strong>_  
><em><strong>Brain fuzzy, cause he's buzzin', woke up from that buzz<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now you wonder why he does it, how he does it<strong>_  
><em><strong>Wasn't cause he had buzzards circle around his head<strong>_  
><em><strong>Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?<strong>_  
><em><strong>Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off<strong>_  
><em><strong>Little hussy ass, cause f-ck it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it<strong>_  
><em><strong>What difference it make?<strong>_  
><em><strong>What it take to get it through your thick skulls<strong>_  
><em><strong>As if this aint some bullshit<strong>_  
><em><strong>People don't usually come back this way<strong>_  
><em><strong>From a place that was dark as I was in<strong>_  
><em><strong>Just to get to this place<strong>_  
><em><strong>Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage<strong>_  
><em><strong>And let it be known from this day forward<strong>_  
><em><strong>I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength<strong>_  
><em><strong>So let em bic's raise cause I came with 5'9′ but I feel like I'm 6'8″<strong>_

I remembered the exact words, letting my silent tears race down my, as I made my way down to the railroad tracks, already knowing full well what I was going to do

_Dear Alfred,_  
><em>It's my birthday. Being my brother, I would expect you to remember this out of all things. I understand that I am not that noticeable. No one ever noticed me, not even you. I understand that you're popular, and you have tons of people just waiting in line just to talk to you. Just for you to talk to me while you were home though would have been nice. Just for you to acknowledge that I have been bullied would have been nice too. Instead, today while you stood right in front of me, me being surrounded by the people who have been bulling me for years, you walked right past me, not even giving me a single glance, instead just looking right through me. I finally snapped.<em>

_I don't know how long I've been depressed. I don't blame you for what your actions were, and I hope you don't blame yourself for what's about to happen. By the time you're done reading this, I finally will be what everyone saw me to be, invisible. I am going to become in the same tense as this letter, the past. I am better off dead anyway._

_With Love,_

_You're Brother Mathieu_

_**This one's for you and me**_  
><em><strong>Living out our dreams<strong>_  
><em><strong>We're all right where we should be<strong>_  
><em><strong>Lift my arms out wide<strong>_  
><em><strong>I open my eyes<strong>_  
><em><strong>And now all I wanna see<strong>_  
><em><strong>Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters<strong>_

I waited by the tracks, sitting down with my legs crossed, waiting for the sound of the oncoming train. I was surprisingly calm knowing I was soon to face death, not feeling in the slightest bit scared about what was about to happen. I felt at peace with myself, having my eyes closed, tuning my ears for the sound of the train. I waited for a little while, until I finally heard something coming, though it wasn't the sound of the trains. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that it was the sound of...beach balls bouncing? I was confused for a few seconds, before I felt a hand lay on my shoulder. I open my eyes, and almost gasp to see Katyusha face only a couple inches from mine, as she said "Mathieu?" I could feel the blush rush into my face as I looked straight into her face. The way the moonlight hit her face made her short platinum blonde hair look as bright as the sun, while he usual down cast eyes, now filled with worry looking into my violet once, made her eyes twinkle like blue stars in the sky. I could only concentrate on her face for a few seconds in surprise, and then suddenly, I broke out into whatever amount of tears I had left to pour out, sobs choking in my chest. She circled her arms around my back, leaning back and sitting down, pulling me onto her lap, letting me lay my head on her chest. She laid her head down onto mine, as I continued to cry, my tears and nose dripping ruining her shirt. I don't care how perverted this sounds, but it just felt nice leaning my head onto her chest. It felt like a pillow and definitely helped calm me down, as my sobs stopped and just turned into my hiccupping. I pulled my head back up and began rubbing my eyes with the sleeves of my hoodie. Suddenly I was aware of a noise receding from the tracks in front of me. I looked up to see the train, my only way to death, fading into the distance, leaving me to deal with the world. I looked back at Katyusha and suddenly I realized something...she cared. No one had ever cared about me, not even my brother, yet I looked into her kind and sad face, and saw she was worried, actually worried, about me. Without even thinking twice, I leaned my face up and kissed her.

Alfred always had a weird habit of telling me what it was like to kiss whatever girlfriend he had dated before, the few times he actual had a conversation with me. He had never said that it would feel anything even remotely like this. In the few seconds I held my face against hers, I could feel fireworks fire up from my core, sending my mind into a world of color and beauty. I pull my head back, a little dazed by my actions, and I open my eyes to see hers open too, her whole face lighting up in what looked to be happiness and a little bit of shock. Her face looked so innocent and smug; I couldn't help but laugh a little. I then began to climb off her lap, hearing a quiet moan of protest, then sliding right next to her, laying back and looking up at her, asking "So, exactly why are you out here in the middle of the night?" I could see with the moonlight that hit her face that she was blushing as she babbled "Well...I...uh... was on my way to your house actually," She then started to crawl away for a second, returning with a large box in hand. She pushed it over to me, then noted "Happy Birthday,"

I was in complete utter shock, all the color draining from my face, as I looked over to the box covered in wrapping paper and a bow next to me. I could see her face was one of embarrassment and sadness, probably thinking, I thought it was stupid of her to get me a gift. To prove her wrong, I pulled myself up and began to unwrap the present, pulling off the top of the box and looking in to see a stuffed polar bear. I pulled it out, noticing that instead of it being stiff like most stuffed toys were; it was highly limp, being filled with what felt like tiny beads instead of just regular stuffing. I hugged it to my chest, loving how soft its fake fur was, and how it felt radiant with heat, almost as it was alive.

"I'm glad you like it. I remember you saying how much you enjoy Canada and...I thought you would like it, since you know, polar bears live in Canada...wait, it's your birthday, what are you doing out here by yourself?" I turned my head to look at her besides me, her face one of confusion, and turning only for a second to put the polar bear back in its box before. I looked back into her eyes and telling her in the most neutral voice I could muster "I have been beaten, forgotten, and ignored today by everyone besides you. Not even my own brother could remember my birthday, I even asked him what day it was, and all he replied to it was 'Friday'... As for the answer to why I am here, it passed by a few minutes ago." She looked extremely sad for a second, and then confused at my last comment, then, realization hit her like a tidal wave. Suddenly, I was glomped, having Katyusha fling herself onto my chest, wrapping her arms around mine and began crying out, tears running down her face like twin faucets. I let her cry herself out; having it take at least ten more minutes until everything went completely quiet. I looked down at her face, which looked utterly destroyed, eyes rimmed red, probably thinking she was going to lose me. I took her chin between my fingers, her blues eyes meeting my violet ones, as I pulled her into another kiss, feeling as they moved together in a perfect tango, until I pulled back and moved them towards her ear, reassuring her "I'm not leaving anytime soon,"

"Neither am I," she told me, wiping her tears away, her features returning back to their usual happy expression, laying her head onto my stomach, looking up at the stars. I lay back, putting my hands behind my head, fixing my glasses and whispering to myself "Best Birthday Ever,"

_**By the time you hear this I'll probably already be outtie**_

_**I advance like going from toting iron to going and buying 4 or 5 of the homies the iron man Audi**_

_**My daddy told me slow down, boy, you goin to blow it**_

_**And I aint gotta stop the beat a minute**_

_**To tell Shady I love him the same way that he did Dr Dre on the Chronic**_

_**Tell him how real he is or how high I am**_

_**Or how I would kill for him for him to know it**_

_**I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back**_

_**So it's only right that I right till he can march right into that post office and tell em to hang it up**_

_**Now his career's Lebron's jersey in 20 years**_

_**I'll stop when I'm at the very top**_

_**You shitted on me on your way up**_

_**It's 'bout to be a scary drop**_

_**Cause what goes up must come down**_

_**You going down on something you don't wanna see like a hairy box**_

_**Every hour, happy hour now**_

_**Life is wacky now**_

_**Used to have to eat the cat to get the pussy**_

_**Now I'm just the cats meooww, ow**_

_**Classic cow, always down for the catch weight like Pacquiao**_

_**Ya'll are doomed**_

_**I remember when T-Pain aint wanna work with me**_

_**My car starts itself, parks itself and autotunes**_

_**Cause now I'm in the Aston**_

_**I went from having my city locked up**_

_**To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick**_

_**And now I'm fantastic**_

_**Compared to a weed high**_

_**And y'all niggas just gossipin' like bitches on a radio and TV**_

_**See me, we fly**_

_**Y'all buggin out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee-hive**_

_**And how real is that**_

_**I remember signing my first deal and now I'm the second best I can deal with that**_

_**Now Bruno can show his ass, without the MTV awards gag**_

I opened my eyes, the light streaming in from my windows blinding me for a few seconds as my alarm kept on beeping. I slammed my hand down on it to make it stop; annoyed by it, but knowing it was the only thing that could ever get me up. I make my way down the stairs, having gotten changed and brushed out my hair, making my way into the kitchen, my usual routine. I saw Alfred look up from where he was gobbling down his usual chocolate cereal, looking up at me and started "Hey Mattie!" before continuing on trying to finish his cereal so that he could get to his early before-school football practice. I smiled, making my usual pancakes, whistling a happy tune. Suddenly, there's a rustling as Alfred quickly got up, and raced to the door, shouting out "Bye Mattie!" before slamming the door behind him.

I still remember walking back to my house with Katyusha, surprised to see the whole place was swarmed with police, a screaming and crying Alfred racing around in a fit, telling the policemen something, unable to keep his voice down so that both Katyusha and I both stood there in utter shock.

After everything got sorted out, with Katyusha going home, along with a promise from me that I would call her the next day and tell her how everything went, both me and Alfred retired back into the house. Alfred made all of these promises to me to be a better brother, cutting off all my oxygen supply keeping my pinned to his chest, as if he thought I was going to disappear if he let me go. I was happy seeing throughout the rest of the weekend, between hanging out with his friends, he spent time talking to me, him doing most of the talking while I listened, content with him paying more attention to me then he has ever done before. When my brother made a promise, he always kept to it. When I wasn't spending time with my brother, I was usually talking over the phone with Katyusha, finding we both actually had a lot in common. I had the bear she gave me on my bed, using it as a pillow for when I slept. It was Monday now, and as I made my way out the door, having gotten my school bag together after finishing my breakfast, I knew, that he only had one more thing I had to change.

I walked the halls of the school, looking for Katyusha, finally spotting her with her friend Lili, and some other very unwelcomed people. Francis, Gilbert, and Spain had them surrounded, Gilbert and Spain teasing Lily about something, while Francis had his eyes glued onto Katyusha chest, pinning her shoulders to the lockers behind her. Anger flew through me as I walked straight up to Francis, and tapped his shoulder. He turned to face me, letting one of his filthy hands skim across her chest, as he looked at me with a smug impression. Completely out of my usual character, I pulled back my arm, turning my hand into a fist, and let it collide against the side of Francis's head. He fell to the ground, moaning a little bit, and I grabbed her hand and hissed "She's mine," Both Gilbert and Antonio looked at me with complete horror, as I gave off and aura similar to the one Ivan gave when he was mad, and watched as they grabbed Francis and ran out of there. Katyusha looked at me and smiled, with me smiling back at her. We grabbed each other's hang, swinging it along as we made our way to our classes, knowing that no matter who saw or didn't ever see us that we would always have each other, and really, that's all that really mattered.

_**You and I know what it's like to be kicked down**_

_**Forced to fight**_

_**But tonight we're alright**_

_**So hold up your light**_

_**Let it shine**_

_**Cuz this one's for you and me**_

_**Living out our dreams**_

_**We're all right where we should be**_

_**Lift my arms out wide**_

_**I open my eyes**_

_**And now all I wannna see**_

_**Is a sky full of lightets, a sky full of lighters**_

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><p><em><strong>Dont hate me! You Can review though, I dont mind being flammed :D<strong>_


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